I Finally Tried Dirty Lemon, Here’s What I Think

I’ve been served SO many Dirty Lemon ads lately, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the hype was. I’d read some positive reviews, but didn’t get a sense of a whether people thought YES TRY THIS or a NO IT’S TERRIBLE. When I saw a promotion for $30/case, instead of the regular $45/case, I thought, “hell, let’s do this”. Plus I love the taste of lemon, so I figured worst case, I’d get a tasty lemony drink. I decided to try 3 of the 4 varieties they offer, per a brief description from the website below:

  • Collegen: Our +collagen formula features hydrolyzed marine collagen peptides, pure lemon juice and cayenne. This blend was carefully selected to improve skin elasticity and hydration, increase internal collagen production and support anti-inflammatory benefits.
  • Matcha: This formula draws its function from energizing matcha green tea (each 16oz bottle has the caffeine equivalent of a cup of green tea), helping the body stay alert but calm through naturally occurring slow-release caffeine and L-Theanine. ¹
  • Charcoal: Activated charcoal supports the removal of toxins and heavy metals from your body and has been used traditionally in hospitals as a poison control remedy due to its ability to bind to toxins in your gut without being absorbed by the body.

The one I didn’t get was:

  • Gingseng: This formula draws its function from both green tea (each 16oz bottle has the caffeine equivalent of 1 cup of coffee) and adaptogenic ginseng that together contribute to a more sustained energizing effect. Expect to feel alert and focused.

Here we GO! They arrived promptly in three days in super sleek-looking black boxes and had to be put in the fridge ASAP. The expiration dates gave me 3-4 weeks to drink them all.

IMG_1235.jpgThe bottles fit easily into the fridge, and have less than 1g of sugar (score), and it’s naturally derived from the lemon, so while there’s around 15 calories (basically nothing), it’s naturally derived, not added sugar, which I’m less guilty about. IMG_9725.JPG

I drank them faithfully as directed, so I could get the best possible result. You get six bottles in a case, meant to be drunk over one week, six consecutive days, and the seventh day is your day off.  NOTE: Charcoal can affect absorption/efficacy of medication, so do not drink the charcoal within 5 hours of taking any meds (including birth control ladies…). That said, here’s my very official, very scientific opinion.

Pros:

  • The taste: I LOVE the taste of lemon, (drink cold and hot water with just lemon all the time), so these are right up my alley. The collegen and the matcha had the strongest lemon taste. The charcoal was more subdued. It’s a tart, but tasty drink.
  • I felt a difference: After my sixth bottle of charcoal, I started to feel a difference. I would drink them before bed, and was certainly “lighter” in the morning. I didn’t lose any weight but felt less bloated. I only noticed a difference with the charcoal, though, Matcha and Collagen did nothing for me.
  • Pretty bottles: The bottles are a good size (16 oz) and so pretty. I felt super chic carrying them around.
  • The ordering process: I placed my original order via text in about 2 minutes. It was so easy. Dirty Lemon texted me when it shipped and when it was being delivered, so I could track it. The first order was just as expected. However, I got another case after the holidays (the again charcoal to de-bloat), to be delivered on 12/28, and it just never came. When I texted customer service about my missing order, they said they just had “so many orders to fill”, and it was very delayed. I would have appreciated an email if it was that delayed… amirite? Was looking forward to charcoaling away the holidays. Then the day it was supposed to arrive (and I worked from home to accept the order) it never came! To say I was annoyed is an understatement. It ended up arriving the following day (and a week later than I originally scheduled it for). The customer service rep was nice, but didn’t offer any solutions to my frustration. To me, “having a lot of orders” is not an excuse for just not delivering as promised. Maybe I expect too much?

Cons:

  • Expensive: It’s $45 for a case of 6, making each bottle $7.50, At that price, I’d rather buy a fresh smoothie. Unless you have money to burn, it’s pricey for a drink with no nutritional value.
  • No noticeable difference with just one week of drinks for Matcha and Collagen: I bet if I had the cash to drink these regularly, I’d certainly see/feel a difference, but after I week I didn’t feel a difference.
  • The packaging: I care about the environment but I wouldn’t say I shy away from all plastic. However, there was SO MUCH PACKAGING with each case. Because the juices have to stay cold in transport, they come with in a huge plastic/fold refrigerator-like bag with two disposable ice packs. It just felt like a lot of waste for six drinks. (The trash from the three cases filled up my recycling, ugh.)

IMG_3042.jpg

If I had to commit, I’d say I’d give the charcoal another go, but not at the $45/case price, at the $30/case. And it would probably be before a special occasion, for that extra “something” feeling (ie flatter stomach), otherwise I’d rather spend that $7.5 a bottle on a bottle of rosé. But that’s just me. 🙂

xo